Maladjusted?

More reasons to quit drinking…or at least cut down

with 2 comments

I have been thinking alot about my decision to give up drinking (for a bit) and smoking (forever).  Its going to be a real lifestyle change for me, but its helping for me to re-examine my reasons for quitting alcohol in particular.  And the more I soul search, the more I realise that this epiphany is long overdue.

Let me explain.  In one of my previous posts, I said that drinking hadn’t had a huge effect on me…(and I quote)

“…its not because alcohol has a very adverse effect on me – ok I may talk a bit more rubbish than normal when I’ve had a few drinks – but I have never become aggressive or maudlin or antisocial…”

That is actually a lie.

The amount of times I have caused an argument with someone (usually boyfriend) because I had been drinking and the amount of times I have been drunk and maudlin, means I would be a liar (or a girt great fibber in V-speak) if I didn’t publicly retract that statement.

Please don’t misunderstand me…I’ve had lots of good times on alcohol, lots of laughs, lots of fun and many more good times than I’ve had bad times.  But when bad times have happened –  they have been bad.

I’m remembering the time that got lost in London on New Years Eve about 5 years ago, so drunk that had I been attacked I would not have been able to identify my attackers.  Luckily, I got home ok that night, having taken got a taxi home that night at a cost of £100 that I could not afford.

I’m also remembering the time I had a row with a close friend, and all those times that I fell over, pulled a random, threw up, or missed work because of a hangover.

Alcohol is mood altering, and I think alcohol in general makes me feel down – not necessarily at the time of drinking, but in the days following.  I am fairly susceptible to feeling depressed (not the same as having depression can I add) which can make me act selfishly, self destructively, and hurt people who have cared for me.  Perhaps alcohol doesn’t cause this but I know for a fact that it doesn’t help it.

Please don’t get me wrong – I am not saying that I am very different from a lot of people my age who go out drinking on a regular basis – everyone I know has at least one ‘drunken tale’ to tell, whether that being a one night stand they regret, passing out somewhere inconvenient, being arrested etc etc.  (If you are reading this post from somewhere abroad you might be a bit shocked by the UK’s drinking culture – these are all normal occurrences for a lot of people).

What I am saying is that if I carry on the way I have been drinking recently (see previous post) I think I will end up with a problem.  At some point drinking stops being a bit of fun, and becomes an issue.  It took losing everything for my mum to figure that one out.

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Written by Lores

January 13, 2009 at 11:23 am

2 Responses

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  1. On the up side, we did become friends because of one rough afternoon/evening/night/later that night/early morning. But you’re probably the only friend I’ve made and kept that way, so it’s not a general occurance!

    I agree with everything you’ve said, but need to point out – you’re being very sensible – I think that means you’re getting older! ;o)

    LVO

    January 15, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    • Yeah I know very sensible…but there comes a time when you have to be sensible I’m afraid! I can’t believe you have been so sensible this month 🙂

      Well done you – hope M is making the effort as well 😛

      Lores

      January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm


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