Maladjusted?

Have I discovered the secret of eternal youth?

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I honestly couldn’t tell you how I’ve done it, but I appear to have somehow discovered the secret of eternal youth.

You heard it here first!

No, I don’t have a picture of myself aging in my attic (a la Dorian Gray), nor was I born old and have been getting slowly younger like Benjamin Button.   And, to my knowledge I have never drunk from the fountain of youth.

Yet, I appear to be looking younger as I get older.  Well – that is, if checkout staff in various outlets across the land are to be believed.

Lets check out the evidence;

  • May 2008 – ID’d buying beer for a BBQ in Sainsbury’s Colchester (they ask for proof of age for anyone who appears to be under the age of 25)
  • August 2008 – ID’d buying beer at Esso Garage, Exeter (they ask for proof of age to anyone who appears to be under the age of 21)
  • June 2009 – Bottle of wine in Sainsbury’s (again – they ask for proof of age for anyone who appears to be under the age of 25)
  • July 2009 – ID’d Entering a pub in Camden.  The lower age is 18 there.
  • August 2009:  Cigarettes in my local newsagent (the legal age to buy ciggies is 18 in the UK – which implies that I look 17! And no – I wasn’t buying them for me!)
  • Last weekend – ID’d for a bottle of wine in Marks & Spencer (they ask for proof of age for anyone under the age of 25)

Yet when I actually was an underage procurer of legally sanctioned drugs, I very rarely got ID’d for anything.

So – aside from possibly exposing my drinking habits –  this overwhelming evidence clearly illustrates that I am literally looking younger as I get older.

I can’t pretend I’m not chuffed to bits about this – being an elderly 27 years of age and all.

(When I find out how this miracle occurred I will, of course, share the secret on this very blog)

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Written by Lores

October 30, 2009 at 3:25 pm

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