Maladjusted?

I keep mine hidden…

with 6 comments

Today V moved out.  It took him a while (in fact nearly 4 weeks since we broke up) to find somewhere else to live.

It’s funny, but even know I knew this day was coming, and also that I have also been very hurt by what it transpired that he had been doing behind my back all that time, I still feel so very sad that he’s gone.  We have lived together for a few years, and I always genuinely believed he was ‘the one’ (if there is indeed such a thing).

I suppose today it’s all hit home finally.  I’ve been holding it together quite well – it has always been V’s prerogative in the relationship to cry and be very outwardly emotional, but I generally keep my emotions hidden. I’m the ‘rational’ one, whereas V puts his very much in the public view.

But today I feel so sad because of waste. And, despite it all, I’ll miss him terribly.

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Written by Lores

February 28, 2010 at 4:11 pm

6 Responses

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  1. Try not to think of it as waste, but just one scene from the tapestry of your life. A scene that brought you happiness once.

    It must have been very, very difficult to have him still living there and to see him go, but the worst is over for you. Now you can start looking forward to the future.

    Chin up. Spring will soon be here.

    merewoman

    February 28, 2010 at 6:35 pm

  2. Not a waste, no. We are products of our experinces and generally come to value them, however painful they may be to undergo at the time, provided we view them with clarity.

    Tomorrow is another day, not yet begun.

    Jon

    February 28, 2010 at 8:09 pm

  3. Thank you for all of the comments. I know things will get better. 🙂

    Lores

    February 28, 2010 at 9:27 pm

  4. Aw hun. It is a very sad thing, but count it all experience, you know… and there is a ‘the one’ for everyone. You just have to make the right choices early on, I guess. Thinking of you – you know where to find me!

    Luschka

    March 3, 2010 at 7:20 pm

  5. ‘Waste not want not’ might not sound like a great phraseology for whatever hit you as an individual, but if you felt something, and you had something that didn’t feel like a waste for a very long time, then remember it was there. Know that not everybody gets even this much of a chance, and count yourself more fortunate than you might feel or have felt before, knowing that you are better off than many people.

    Optimism’s a bitch, but it has its place in this world, and your world might have changed, but that doesn’t mean you won’t rock somebody else’s world sometime soon. Heh, I respond/write to this as I fall asleep trying to work but noticed it was linked off one of my own entries. Twenty seconds to see how somebody else feels, and oneself is able to feel a little more fortunate. Hope I haven’t bored you too much!

    There are many things that will feel like much more of a waste than even the finest of relationships. But somebody should tell you that living life for yourself and for others is never a waste. Even if the guy turned out to not be what he should or could have been, as long as learn and improve from it, you might be surprised what happens in the weeks, the months and the seasons that follow.

    Life is short, life is also sweet if you have time to blog, so don’t forget how fortunate you are deep down and on the inside :]. Besides, recycling is a noble cause of yours 🙂

    Whoever you are, you should be happy, and it is very important to let time heal you as best as it can. Smileee 🙂

    shadywady

    June 4, 2010 at 1:05 am


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