Posts Tagged ‘podgy fat

Why I do not watch much TV

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I don’t actually watch a lot of TV.  There’s very little on the box that I actually want to watch, and anything that I wouldn’t mind watching I can find on BBC iplayer or Channel 4 on Demand.

However, my sister watches and enjoys a huge amount of banal TV trash – much of which I’m subjected to while eating my tea of an evening.  The worst examples of the eye ball offenders are:

  • Pineapple Dance Studios (gyrating craziness fronted by gay-guy-about-town and screaming, annoying twat Louis Spence.  Like the Trocodero Centre – wrong on so many levels )
  • Dating in the Dark (it’s a dating show – so I hate it already.  And the ‘hook’ is that its…er…in the dark)
  • America’s Next Top Model (public hate-fest where a model called Tara Somebodyorother seems to really believe that a) she is God and b) that anything she says actually matters)

All a load of guff, but the one show that has really got my goat of late, is the horror of a TV programme called ‘Fat Families’.

Fat Families is a show hosted by ex-lardy Steve Somebodyorother (not related to Tara), who is contacted by families of salad-dodgers to help them shift a few pounds of podgy fat.  (see picture).

Steve gives them a healthy eating plan, replaces their extra large sofas with treadmills so there’s no excuse not to exercise and monitors how they get on.  There are usually a few tears and tantrums as the fatsos realise that salad leaves don’t taste like chocolate, but all in all they end up losing a bit of weight by the time it gets to the ‘final weigh in’.  Cue smiles and back slapping all round (no pun intended).

So far, so boring.

However, it’s the follow up show that really makes my teeth itch.

After a few months, Steve then invites the slightly less wobbly families back to see how they’ve got on – if they’ve managed to take on board his healthy eating plans for the long term, and if they’ve managed to lose any further weight.

The family are put up overnight in a hotel, but what isn’t communicated is that cheeky little imp Steve has set ‘traps’ around the hotel (bowls of sweets at reception, a free buffet full of fattening foods in the dining area), and has installed secret cameras to spy on them to see if they slip up at any point (i.e. help themselves to a choccie, or choose the unhealthier option at the buffet).

Now, perhaps I’m a little over sensitive, but isn’t this just a modern type of bear baiting?

It just seems needlessly cruel to me to set up such fiendish traps.  After all, this is a bunch of people who obviously have an unhealthy relationship with food.  You wouldn’t tempt recovering heroin addicts with bowls full of skag lying around the place, or entice a recovering alcoholic with a free bar would you?

Also, I know what I am like when I stay at hotel – I tend load up.  It’s free food.  I’m going to eat more than I should.  Come on…live a little!

Anyway, after setting these traps and monitoring the actions of the family of podges, Steve then jumps out on them in the restaurant just as they are about to tuck into their second helping of double-chocolate-extra-cream-big-boy-cheese-cake, shaming them into (very often) tears, and patronising them blatantly in public.

Cue more tears, scenes of the fat families doing a bit more exercise, another final weigh in that shows that they’ve shifted a bit more weight, and bit of self congratulatory back slapping for Steve.

All in all, I’m left with a feeling a despair for the human race, bafflement at what passes as ‘entertainment’ to some people, and with an overpowering urge to put Steve in a sack full of other things I don’t like (like poo and sild) and punt it into the sea.

This is why I do not watch  much TV


Podgy Fat (or My Top Tips for Weight Loss)

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I’ve put on weight.  Not chronically or dramatically, but over the last 6 months or so there has been creeping weight-gain.  The type where you go to buy a new pair of trousers and you realise that you have gone up a dress size quite unexpectedly.

I think it might be medical.  I think I might have the lesser known medical condition called LAZYLAZY is a terrible condition, the symptoms of which are cessation of any sort of physical activity, and more time spent sitting, lying, lounging, squatting or generally being sedentary.  Contrary to popular belief, LAZY is one of the leading causes of weight gain in the country – not the ‘government’, ‘hidden calories’, or ‘society’ as previously thought.

I know when I started to come down with LAZY – it was at the same time as my project at work really kicked off back in September and I started to cut back on any exercise.  During the space of just under 3 months I worked very long hours sitting in front of my PC – and doing very little else.  Now you don’t have to be an expert in physics or Newton’s law to know that a body at rest tends to stay at rest.  Indeed, because no one (least of all myself) was exerting any force upon me, there was really no change in velocity or acceleration to my body at all!  Add this lack of movement to the convenience food yommed at the same desk, and you can see how the problem started.

So what to do?  Is there a cure for LAZY?

Well, as an illness, LAZY is pretty much self perpetuating – there is only one way to combat LAZY related weight gain, and that is with another lesser known cure for fatness called:  DO MORE EAT LESS.  Again, DO MORE EAT LESS, has been proven beyond doubt by millions of ex-salad dodgers as the most effective way of losing weight – more so than any fad diets, pills, supplements or anything else that costs money*  DO MORE EAT LESS is free, and is ever so easy to fit into your lifestyle.  You simply do more, and at the same time, eat less

Luckily, my project is now completed, work pressures are easing off, so its time for me to stop feeding my podgy fat and to start doing a bit more exercise – I’m thinking of running a half marathon in early 2010 as a motivational goal…wish me luck!

Next time:  A full write up of the Eden Project / Hotel of Horrors trip
Work blog:  Write up of recent poverty event in London I attended

*unless of course your chubbiness is a medical condition then of course you go to the Drs who may well prescribe you pills or whatnot.

Written by Lores

December 2, 2009 at 1:38 pm