Posts Tagged ‘Rants

Why I do not watch much TV

with 5 comments

I don’t actually watch a lot of TV.  There’s very little on the box that I actually want to watch, and anything that I wouldn’t mind watching I can find on BBC iplayer or Channel 4 on Demand.

However, my sister watches and enjoys a huge amount of banal TV trash – much of which I’m subjected to while eating my tea of an evening.  The worst examples of the eye ball offenders are:

  • Pineapple Dance Studios (gyrating craziness fronted by gay-guy-about-town and screaming, annoying twat Louis Spence.  Like the Trocodero Centre – wrong on so many levels )
  • Dating in the Dark (it’s a dating show – so I hate it already.  And the ‘hook’ is that its…er…in the dark)
  • America’s Next Top Model (public hate-fest where a model called Tara Somebodyorother seems to really believe that a) she is God and b) that anything she says actually matters)

All a load of guff, but the one show that has really got my goat of late, is the horror of a TV programme called ‘Fat Families’.

Fat Families is a show hosted by ex-lardy Steve Somebodyorother (not related to Tara), who is contacted by families of salad-dodgers to help them shift a few pounds of podgy fat.  (see picture).

Steve gives them a healthy eating plan, replaces their extra large sofas with treadmills so there’s no excuse not to exercise and monitors how they get on.  There are usually a few tears and tantrums as the fatsos realise that salad leaves don’t taste like chocolate, but all in all they end up losing a bit of weight by the time it gets to the ‘final weigh in’.  Cue smiles and back slapping all round (no pun intended).

So far, so boring.

However, it’s the follow up show that really makes my teeth itch.

After a few months, Steve then invites the slightly less wobbly families back to see how they’ve got on – if they’ve managed to take on board his healthy eating plans for the long term, and if they’ve managed to lose any further weight.

The family are put up overnight in a hotel, but what isn’t communicated is that cheeky little imp Steve has set ‘traps’ around the hotel (bowls of sweets at reception, a free buffet full of fattening foods in the dining area), and has installed secret cameras to spy on them to see if they slip up at any point (i.e. help themselves to a choccie, or choose the unhealthier option at the buffet).

Now, perhaps I’m a little over sensitive, but isn’t this just a modern type of bear baiting?

It just seems needlessly cruel to me to set up such fiendish traps.  After all, this is a bunch of people who obviously have an unhealthy relationship with food.  You wouldn’t tempt recovering heroin addicts with bowls full of skag lying around the place, or entice a recovering alcoholic with a free bar would you?

Also, I know what I am like when I stay at hotel – I tend load up.  It’s free food.  I’m going to eat more than I should.  Come on…live a little!

Anyway, after setting these traps and monitoring the actions of the family of podges, Steve then jumps out on them in the restaurant just as they are about to tuck into their second helping of double-chocolate-extra-cream-big-boy-cheese-cake, shaming them into (very often) tears, and patronising them blatantly in public.

Cue more tears, scenes of the fat families doing a bit more exercise, another final weigh in that shows that they’ve shifted a bit more weight, and bit of self congratulatory back slapping for Steve.

All in all, I’m left with a feeling a despair for the human race, bafflement at what passes as ‘entertainment’ to some people, and with an overpowering urge to put Steve in a sack full of other things I don’t like (like poo and sild) and punt it into the sea.

This is why I do not watch  much TV


Taking a little responsibility…

with 4 comments

How is it that I often find that people very rarely take responsibility for their own actions – especially when their actions are in some way unacceptable or unappealing?

I know so many people that excuse the way that they act just because ‘that’s just the way they are’. From people who get angry and lash out, to people who drink excessively, to people who flirt outrageously with everyone. When confronted about their behaviour the standard patois is always the same: ‘I was just built this way – I can’t help it – it’s not my fault – I can’t change – don’t try and change me’ etc etc.


Of course they can help it!  Even though people very often blame their ‘conditioning’ for acting in a particular way – surely everyone does actually have control of how they respond to events or situations?!

For example, there is a person I know who naturally has a short temper, and so as a result ‘cannot help’ getting into fracas, fights, altercations, fisticuffs, and melees.  Righto, so he ‘can’t help it’…but lets say for argument’s sake that this person was hit in the face by a 6 month old baby.  The chances are that he would react a lot differently to being hit in the face by a 6 month old baby than if he was hit in the face by a 20-year-old man. This person, who allegedly cannot help how he acts because he naturally has a short temper – in a split second – would have made a mental calculation of the context and acted accordingly.

Of course, my philosophy can’t be applied to every situation (I’m talking about people with learning difficulties / mental health problems) but my point stands.

We all have control over our own actions and we can take responsibility for the way we act and the things that we do.  Genetic disposition and social conditioning can have an influence, sure, but the final say-so of how you live your life lies with yourself.

Now strap a pair on and live with it.

Written by Lores

May 27, 2010 at 9:00 am

Mushrooms with that?

with 2 comments

First it was the bathroom floor sinking with underfloor damp.  Then it was the leak from upstairs that put out the electricity in the bathroom and the hallway.  Then we were burgled, (and to date the landlord still hasn’t fixed the back window), and the latest calamity to befall our little flat…


Chronic, nasty mould that has appeared in the last week, is progressing rapidly and is creeping up all of our outside walls.  Some of our books are ruined, as is the back of our cupboard and bookshelf where they are touching the wall.  It’s everywhere.  (We only realised it was as bad as it is when we looked behind our heavy furniture)

My landlord apparently “cannot help” so we won’t be “helping” him with the benefit of our rent.  Our tenancy agreement is up next month, so we are going to find somewhere else to live (outside of London I think) before our lungs turn into bacterial sponges.

First stop we do before we go though – our local authority environmental health department.

Written by Lores

December 8, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Posted in Rants

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

F*cking builders…

leave a comment »

Question:  What do you get if you give a retarded shit-for-brains chimpanzee a lobotomy?

Answer:  The builder currently working on our bathroom.

I worked from home today for two reasons – firstly to go and register with my local GP, and secondly to let the builder in to finish the last bit of work needed on our bathroom.

And the work-shy bastard has neglected to turn up for work again.  

All day I waited, putting of registering for the GP until the last minute – fearful that Mr Builder-Man would turn up while I was out.  And at 4.30pm today I get a text saying ‘I thought it might rain today so I’ll come tomorrow instead’

Aside from the fact that the majority of work that he is doing is inside the flat, and aside from the fact that it has been brilliant sunshine all day, I think 4.30 is a little late in the day to send apologies! 

I must say that I am not filled with confidence in his work if he shows this level of incompetence in basic time management.


I am seriously not in a good mood today.

Written by Lores

July 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

I’ve Joined a Gym…

with 2 comments

With the realisation that I am getting increasingly unfit, today I took the step to joined the local council gym.

Now, a serious gym fan will turn their nose up at a local council gym.  As a general rule they are a lot less glamorous than some of the ‘chain’ gyms like Fitness First, Virgin Active, David Lloyd etc.  But they are cheaper to join, and so much more accessible for people like me.

Let me explain…

Four months ago a friend of mine joined her local Virgin Active gym at a cost of around £60 per month.  And aside from her induction she hasn’t set one foot into the gym (wasting £240 to date) – her reason being that she feels too fat.

Now, on face value this doesn’t make sense – you go to a gym to get fitter and lose weight surely?  But I understand her pain. 

A few years ago I joined a central London branch of Fitness First and after a couple of sessions I realised that the gym was full of people who really didn’t need to exercise.  Thin, toned, tight buttocked men and women everywhere – fake nails, fake tan, fake tits, and in the tiniest exercise-wear known to mankind.

I remember watching one woman stretching casually by a mirror in a pair of shorts that where no larger than a sticking plaster thinking “I do not belong here”

Knowledge of ‘how the machinary works’ seems to be innate with these people (it generally looks like torture equipment to me).  There are no elderly people in these gyms.  There are no people carrying an extra few pounds. 

And the changing rooms were even worse for me.  As I spent most of my time trying desperately to cover up every last inch of wobbly white flesh with my less than adequate towel there were women are wandering around stark naked, without a care the world.  Chatting and laughing…but then I suppose there are lots of things to chat and laugh about when you have the figure of Kate Moss.

Please don’t misunderstand me – there is nothing wrong with looking your very best.  But when I go to a gym I am a sweaty red faced mess 10 minutes into the session.  My thighs ripple when I run…my self esteem teeters on a knife edge at the best of times, so I don’t want to see perfectly sculpted figures of man and woman when I am looking my worst.  I want to see people like me – struggling to last 10 minutes on the treadmill…dripping with sweat…with no nail polish on their toes…and who have no idea how to use an exercise ball.

Yes, I understand that perhaps the reason why these glamorous specimens are still looking so glamorous is because they use a gym regularly.   But still:

I’m jealous and I don’t want to have to look at them

So I have joined my local council gym.  Its cheap and it’s cheerful.  The machines are a little more archaic than other gyms, and you can catch verrucas in the sauna, but it’s old people friendly, it’s fat people friendly, and it’s unfit-people friendly, and that’s good enough for me.

Written by Lores

June 25, 2009 at 5:12 pm

The Ugly Face of Animal Testing…

leave a comment »

I felt quite sad to stumble over the paper The Ugly Face of Animal Testing earlier today.  According to this paper, animal testing in Europe was only banned on 11 March 2009 – although companies may still test their products on animals outside the EU up until 2013.

I do not believe that animals should be harmed to make unnecessary products for human consumption. 

The Body Shop proved years ago that you can make all sorts of beauty products without resorting to animal testing, so in my eyes there is no excuse for any organisation to still do so.

However, I do agree with animal testing for medicines.  Does that mean I have double standards?  Perhaps so.  All I know is this – if someone I loved was taken ill I would much prefer that a cure was found at the expense of a couple of laboratory mice.

Rantage over.

Written by Lores

May 28, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Are Ryanair taking the piss?

leave a comment »

Image courtesy of Business Innovation Blog

Image courtesy of Business Innovation Blog

I was chatting with a friend of mine earlier today about the fact that Ryanair are now considering charging people £1 to use the toilets on their aeroplanes (Read the news headlines of late last week)

Speaking on BBC Breakfast Michael O’Leary, CEO for Ryanair said;

“One thing we have looked at in the past and are looking at again is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in future”

Very drole.

Is the whole ‘Ryanair experience’ nothing but a social experiment to see how much humiliation people are willing to take for what they believe are ‘cheap’ flights? 

Is it not bad enough that the flights are never as cheap as advertised once you have added the tax and fuel supplement?  (I have yet to hear from one person who has ever actually bought a flight for £1)

Is it not bad enough that you have to pay to check in your bag? (Correct me if I’m wrong – but isn’t that part of whole flying experience?)

Is it not bad enough that if you then want your tickets put in the post to you, you have to pay another fee?  

Is it not bad enough that on the plane itself (sorry did I say plane…I meant glorified catapult) heaven forbid you be taller than 5ft 6″.  If you are you may as well invite the person infront to come sit on your lap, as they virtually will be anyway.

Is it not bad enought that after enduring the discomfort of the flight itself you discover that your destination airport is actually located 20KM away from your desired destination?

Is it not bad enough you have to endure all of these things, without then having to pay £1 for a basic bodily function as well??

I’ve never been a fan of budget airlines anyway, but I feel that this is taking the piss a bit too literally.

(Oh and while I am here – if I am going to pay £5 for a sandwich I at least want that sandwich to be a tasty sandwich)

Rant over.

Written by Lores

March 2, 2009 at 12:53 pm