Shouldn’t but Would…

As anyone who follows my Twitter activity or read last week’s blog post is aware: I’ve been having a rubbish week.  Mainly on account of having just moved house, and then subsequently breaking up with long term boyfriend two weeks after we move into said new house.

(Note:  Full details of this will not be flogged to death here or in any other public space, being that mutual friends / family read this blog)

Anyway – as a result of feeling sorry for myself, I have been on a misery croissant* and comedy panel show TV binge now for almost a whole week.  (Everyone has their own ways of coping).  However, as a result of this, I have been led to two horrifying epiphanies:

1. If I carry on eating misery croissants like they are going out of fashion then I will either go into hyperglycemic coma or become as big as a house
2. As a result of watching too many TV comedy panel shows I have developed a ‘shouldn’t but would’ crush on David Mitchell (pictured).

I don’t think that I am alone in keeping a mental ‘shouldn’t but would list‘.  In fact I believe that everyone has a secret list of people that they really really shouldn’t fancy (or admit that they fancy), but inexplicably do – i.e. they would ‘do’ them anyway.

Let me explain.  Other gems from my (scarily long) ‘shouldn’t but would‘ list include; Angus Deyton, Stephen Fry (sexuality is no barrier to a ‘shouldn’t but would’ list), the guy who plays ‘Superhands’ from Peep Show, Obama, Alexander Armstrong, Hugh Dennis, Emilio Estevez in ‘Young Guns’, and John Lydon in his younger days (not his age now I hasten to add!).

Now, if I pluck one of these bad boys out of the air at random – lets say Angus Deyton – I can illustrate my point.  Angus Deyton is not an aesthetically pleasing man. Not in any way.  In the past he has been caught having sex / cocaine parties with strippers (or something), and he is about 25 years my senior (I imagine) – so he’s hardly pin up material.  Yet…there is equally something quite attractive about him at the same time. I can’t place my finger on exactly what it is – perhaps it’s the witty humour?

But you get my point.  Even though he is uggo, I would do him anyway.

(Actually, on thinking about it, perhaps that just makes me a slut?)

Anyway, the David Mitchell crush can probably be explained away by the fact that I’m on a bit of a relationship low at the moment, and that he is also a very funny man (as you can see from the other ‘stars’ from my list – I’m attracted to very funny men).   And, or course, the fact that I’ve been watching too many comedy panel shows in which he features, of late.

I’d be interested to find out who is on other people’s ‘shouldn’t but would’ lists…or if, in fact, I’m alone in this madness…

*misery croissants are normal croissants that are eaten in times of misery / floods of tears.  Of course this can also apply to other foodstuffs such as cake or chocolate, but I prefer a croissant in times of stress.